Interview with Jess Goldey

Jess Goldey: My Turn to Win
interview by Jason Walsh

Though the hardcore scene has always been predominantly populated by guys, guitarist Jess Goldey of My Turn to Win has never let the fact that she is a woman slow her down. As a founding member of the Philadelphia based hardcore outfit, she has continued to prove herself as an accomplished guitarist and songwriter, and one of the driving forces that keeps the band always moving forward. Started in 2004 with frontman Dave Rosney, in what the band calls the "summer of positivity," My Turn to Win has released several demos, E.P.s, appeared on a couple compilations, and most recently released their first full-length, "Weight of the World" on Awake/Strong Records, while continuing to tear down venues along the East Coast.

The 23-year-old grew up in the Philadelphia area and is currently an Elementary Education major at Temple University. With the new year around the corner, My Turn to Win looks to do a U.S. tour as well as writing new material for a possible new release down the road. I had a chance to talk to Goldey about how she found hardcore, the origins of the band, and what it's like to be a woman guitarist in one of the most aggressive styles of music.


JW: What is it that drew you to hardcore? Where did you first discover that this was something for you?

JESS: I always liked Y100. That's what I listened to on the radio. Music wasn't really that big of a deal when I was little, but when I was in high school my friend who liked similar music that I did, like alternative stuff, would always wear H20 shirts to school. I was in like 8th grade and I was like "what style is this band H20?" It's like around when "Abstinence" was just coming out. I went home and I downloaded "One Life, One Chance" on my computer, on my 56K modem, and I was hooked from there. I went out and I bought the CD at the Wall or something, and I was just hooked. They've been my favorite band ever since and from that I started loving that kind of music and it just progressed into a whole chain reaction of things. I just loved it, loved everything about it. I played hockey too and this one kid I played with, he told me he used to fill in for Kid Dynamite, so I got into Kid Dynamite from him. He just kept giving me stuff, like Less Than Jake CDs and Suicide Machines and things like that. I know he really liked Madball, and I just started listening to a lot of similar stuff and it just progressed from there. As I got older, like in high school, I started going to shows with people I was friends with and it just blew up from there.

JW: What was it about hardcore music that spoke to you? It's a lot different than some of your standard different styles of music. It is a very aggressive style and what was it about that style that really spoke to you?

JESS: I just love that the songs are really real. I can relate to them, and especially with H20, everything is so positive but at the same time it's aggressive. It's so heartfelt that you don't listen to the music, you feel it. I've compared it to people who don't understand who aren't in this scene, trying to make the analogy, like when you're in your car and you're driving and you turn on the radio because you want something to listen to and you don't really think too much about that. You just turn it on and listen to it. But when I listen to something, I feel it. It's something that I feel and I get chills time and time again. It's just this awesome feeling that I haven't found anywhere else. It's awesome and addictive and everything that anybody could ever want in a music style, in a genre, or y'know, in a lifestyle. It's just amazing.

JW: What made you decide to pick up a guitar and start learning how to play?

JESS: It's kind of funny. When I was in high school, I guess I was a senior, my schedule got fucked up somehow and I had to go into my guidance counselor. They were like, "Oh, we're going to put you in this guitar class," and I was like "O.K.?" I really didn't have any ambition to play guitar, I never really thought about it before, and they put me in this class and honestly, we didn't do anything in there. They gave us these really shitty acoustic guitars and were like "well, here, we're going to teach you how to play," but they didn't really. It was just like the first year they had the class and it was just basically me teaching myself. I thought past it and I would teach them to myself and I grew addicted to this instrument. I was like, "I love this!" For my 16th or 17th birthday, I asked my Mom and Dad for a guitar and they gave me one and I just continued to teach myself. I never really thought of like being in an actual band. At that point I was like, "Aww...this would be awesome if that could happen." I never really expected it to and especially to the degree that it's gotten to. I never imagined to do something like that.

JW: So what kind of guitar did Mom and Dad get you?

JESS: It was a Fender American Strat. A teal color. Beautiful.

JW: Do you still have it?

JESS: I do still have it. I refuse to get rid of it even though I am totally broke. I have a strong attachment to sentimental things and it was my first guitar and we shared so many memories as corny as it sounds (laughs). I don't want to give it away, sell it for something, for money. It's not worth it. It still plays great. My best friend Dave, who sings in the band, he gave me Seymour Duncan Hot Rails pickups to put in it and it made it sound amazing. I still love it, I still play it, and I'm never going to get rid of it.

JW: Well, you can't. That would be ridiculous. One, it came from your parents and two, you laid a lot of blood into it. It's your first guitar.

JESS: Yeah!!! I tell people, "I'm broke, I have no money," and they're like "sell something," and I'm like "I don't really have anything to sell that's worth a decent amount of money except for my guitar." They're like, "why don't you sell it? You don't even play it at shows anymore," and I'm like "Hell, no! Get out of here! That means too much to me."

JW: What are you playing now?

JESS: Right now I have an ESP LTD. It's a Les Paul style guitar. It's got a black matte finish with gold trim and gold hardware. It's got EMG pickups and sounds really ballsy. It plays great. I love it so much.

JW: So, how did you hook up with the band? How did that come about for you?

JESS: Well, I started hanging out with Dave in 2004. He used to live at this house that did shows. There was a saying, like "Dave's Night," which was like every Wednesday I think, when people would just go over there and play games. I went one night and met him and we just totally clicked and hit it off and we started hanging out. He was talking about how he wanted to do this band and call it My Turn to Win, named after a Turning Point song. It was originally just him sitting in his boxers or something with an acoustic guitar. I don't even think Dave can play the guitar. It was just him messing around with an acoustic guitar by himself writing songs about positivity and safe sex and stuff like that, like super silly. I guess he wanted to make it a serious thing and I was like, "oh, I can play guitar somewhat," and at that time I was like, "I can't really play guitar all that well, but I'd be really interested." So, I guess through message boards and things, we found our other guitar player and bass player. Our first drummer, Chad, we just knew him, so he was in it, and it just went from there. We've been through a ton of lineup changes, I'm not even sure how many, in the four and a half years we've been a band. Dave and me are the original members from the start and he's my best friend in the whole wide world even though he gets on my nerves and I get on his, but that goes with any relationship, if you know somebody and you're that close with them.

JW: And that's part of being in a band.

JESS: Oh, definitely.

JW: You get a bunch of people together that may have like interests but there's always going to be issues.

JESS: Oh, no doubt. Being in a band is like being in a relationship, but with four other people and sometimes it's going to be difficult. But, whatever, you get through those times just like with any other friendship, relationship, family problem, y'know whatever. Relationships have problems and you work on them and you get over it. Big deal. At the end of the day, you aren't always kissing and making up.

JW: How's this stretch been being in this band? You said you've been doing this for four and a half years. Is it a lot of fun? Does it keep you motivated? What is the reason why you continue to do this?

JESS: There's a lot of reasons why. I guess I can't really pinpoint one. I mean it's fun for the most part. Right now, we have had a solid lineup for a year and a half. We recently went through a drummer change, but there's not even any bad blood between any of our ex-members or anything. It's just that they had to work and couldn't fit it into their schedule or other differences. It wasn't because we hated them or they were angry with us, it just couldn't work for them. I guess really everything does happen for a reason because right now I think we're all pretty much content with the lineup and everybody gets along really well. We're like a happy little family but sometimes we all hate each other, but that's normal. You know we have our quarrels and it's stressful sometimes. It really is all worth it just because playing shows and seeing kids I've never seen before in my life yelling in Dave's face lyrics that he wrote to songs that we all wrote together is awesome. It's an unbeatable feeling, something I never thought would ever, ever dream of happening. I don't even know how to describe it, the feeling I get from playing, being up there sweating, and giving as much as I can. At the end of the set, I feel so dead physically but never more alive. We do this because it's fun and it's what we want to do, and when it stops being fun, and the bad times outweigh the good, then that's when it's not going to happen anymore.

JW: In a style that's dominated by a lot of testosterone, what's it like being a woman playing guitar in a hardcore band?
JESS: I'm not going to lie. There's a lot of attention there, whether it's me or any other female in a hardcore band. A girl can't deny the fact that this world is "dominated" by dudes and you can't ignore that. You kind of just have to accept it and learn to live with it, but at the same time know that you're just as good as any of the dudes. I think it's important to just know that is always going to be there, at least now unless something changes. So, getting mad at something like that, because that's just the way it is, I don't know, I think that's just wasted energy. I think there's a lot of other things you can put you're energy into. The scene's dominated by dudes, like more guys play hockey than girls, something like that, you know what I mean. That's just a fact. That's just how it is, but how it affects me is, well, I don't know? I just want to be considered as an equal and I think that I am. I don't have the attitude like, "oh, I'm better than this dude or I'm better than this guy because I can do this and this and this and he can't." I just want to be like everybody else. I don't have the attitude of "oh, I'm better than him because I'm a girl and I can pull my own weight." Does that make sense?

JW: Yeah it does. Do you feel when you're playing with other bands that acceptance as a peer, and not treated differently because you are a woman? Do you feel that level of acceptance with others in the hardcore community?

JESS: For me personally, I feel accepted, that I've earned my place. I acknowledge that there are guys out there who look down upon girls being in what "dudes" activities are supposed to be. I don't have a better word for that. But I know there are guys out there that are like that, so I just keep that in mind but I don't let that bother me. I know that I hold my own just fine, playing in a band or whatever else. I don't care if a guy or girl wants to judge me for whatever. That's their own problem. If they like me then that's great, if not, I don't feel like I should waste my energy trying to change their opinion. I feel like I can definitely prove to people who think that girls shouldn't do this type of thing, I think I definitely prove them wrong. I've had a lot of girls come up to me and be like, "I want to do that. I want to be just like you." It's such a huge compliment and it's so flattering because I feel like I'm setting a good example. I'm always watching how I am acting, like what I say, especially to young girls who are saying these things and complimenting me. I hope that if I'm influencing them, that I'm saying and doing the right things in a positive way. There is such a thing as good attention and bad attention. There are girls out there that just go to shows who just stand in the back and hold their boyfriend's coats and things and just follow them around like a little puppy dog and they don't really care about the music even though they say they do. You know, like here today, gone tomorrow type of thing. There's so many girls like that, or dudes, doing it for the wrong reasons. Overall, I just want to make a good impression for these girls who say these things to me and I want to give them somebody to look up to and they'll be like, "y'know, I can do this. I can do whatever I want to do and not feel like I should be looked down upon by guys or anybody." Everybody should be able to do what they want to do. If they want to do it, there should be no reason why they can't, as long you are a strong person and follow what you want to do in your heart, there's no reason you should be shut down because people look down upon that sort of thing.

JW: Exactly, and good for you of being an advocate of that. That's the thing, I think all of us have been drawn to this music and this movement because it spoke to us and another thing, it is a sense of unity and coming together and family.

JESS: Exactly. We're all here for the same reasons, whether it's a guy or girl. It doesn't matter. We should all be considered as people here. There's not one gender that's better than the other. If you had your eyes shut and you couldn't tell who was up there on stage, it could be all girls, it could be all guys, you wouldn't know. Purple, gray, brown, black, green. It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like. Everybody should be considered equal and that's that.

AGNOSTIC FRONT: NEW BLOOD

NEW BLOOD
Interview with Roger Miret
by Jason Walsh

When one thinks about the New York Hardcore scene, one of the first bands that comes to mind is Agnostic Front. Founded by guitarist Vinnie Stigma in 1980, AF added Roger Miret shortly after the group's inception, and through the highs and lows, the two have continued the legacy for nearly three decades. In recent times, they have added a crew of young guns to the lineup, which has rejuvenated these pioneers of the underground hardcore movement in NYC. Drummer Steve Gallo and brother Mike Gallo on bass, along with Joey James on guitar have brought a new voice to the Lower East Side crew, renewing support and continuing the tradition for the band that has inspired hundreds of hardcore outfits around the world.

As the world enters a new year, I had a chance to talk with Miret about Agnostic Front's history and longevity, the newest record, "Warriors," as well as the current tour and future projects that lie ahead. Newly relocated out West, we also discussed his new family, fatherhood, and the success his younger brother, Freddy Cricien of Madball, has had through his influence and support.

JW: So you told me you relocated to Arizona. Why did you decide to move out there?

MIRET: My wife's from out here and she wanted to finish her studies that she started at ASU years ago. I came here to support her and help her finish her studies and while we were here she got pregnant and we had our baby, Abby. Abby is 17-months old and now she's pregnant again and we're having a little boy.

JW: You think you're going to be out there permanent?

MIRET: Well I'm really liking it here, man. I mean it's affordable and right now we're raising a family, so those are things I have to think about. Back home, back east in New York City, it would be a lot to get a two-bedroom apartment, but we'd probably need a three really soon. The cost of living is more affordable and it's really pretty here. We really like it. The only thing that sucks is that we don't really have any family here, but we're creating our own.

JW: It sounds like it. It's a pretty cool area out there, different kind of climate all together, but yet with all your family back in the city, you probably kind of miss the city a little bit, huh?

MIRET: Yeah. I miss the seasons, y'know, when they come around. That's something that we really miss. Other than that, the climate is so nice over here. I like coming home from touring and coming here. I really feel relaxed, y'know.

JW: Kind of a good place to wind down after you've been on the road for a while?

MIRET: Absolutely.

JW: Well, let's talk about this last year. You guys have been pretty busy. Year before you released "Warriors," couple videos out of that, the Black 'n Blue Bowl in Brooklyn, then you guys started a big European tour after that. Talk about this last year. It's definitely been an active one.

MIRET: Well, we've been really busy. Once "Warriors" came out, we hit the markets pretty quick, but what we did was we went to Europe, and started it off in Europe and maintained it. We did Europe like three or four times and then went to South America. We recently just started touring it for the U.S. We divided the tour into four different parts in the U.S. and we just did the first part, which was all Northeast. We're going to Costa Rica this Saturday for one show and then right after that, we start our West Coast leg. Next year, January into February, we'll be doing the south and southeast, and then we'll eventually go to the Chicago area right after that. We're letting the weather go by.

JW: Yeah, that's probably a smart thing. Follow the sun.

MIRET: Exactly.

JW: The response on the record has been good. Have you been hearing some good stuff from the fans out there on the road?

MIRET: Yeah, we are. Personally, I think "Warriors" is our best offering to date. I think it's definitely a very genuine hardcore record and it speaks very much to the hardcore community. Musical wise, I think it's as intense as the lyrics. I mean it's real genuine. There's a lot of passion in "Warriors" and I think people are really starting to pick that up and y'know, enjoying it.

JW: I got a chance to meet Joey and Steve at the Black 'n Blue Bowl. Some really nice guys, and it seems like these new guys that you got in the band are really putting a bit of fire into the band. Do you think that's accurate?

MIRET: I think it's very accurate. "Warriors" is one of the first records ever that was really written by the whole band, as opposed to "Another Voice," which prior to that was written mostly by myself in the studio with my friend, Jamey (Jasta of Hatebreed). With "Warriors" we did the whole writing as a whole band, which is really cool, and you can actually hear the influences that each guy put in. It's funny because the influences they put in, is very much a kickback to the original stuff that Agnostic Front has been doing for years. I think "Warriors" has elements and combinations of all our records, a great collage of it all.

JW: I got that from Steve when he was describing the record. He was like, "I think it takes parts of 'Victim in Pain,' 'Cause for Alarm,' "One Voice,' and it kind of fuses them all together." It's hitting all the different eras of Agnostic Front. Honestly, as a fan, it's an incredible record and I put it at the top of my list as well, of what you guys have done to date.

MIRET: I think so. I mean, like I said, it's a great collage of our history. I think it's a great record and I hope it doesn't fall on deaf ears and that people really give it a chance and really listen to it. For a hardcore record, not that it's my own record, but I mean there aren't many records as strong as "Warrioirs" that are genuine. Everybody wants to do hardcore, play in a hardcore band, but the passion of a lot of these bands is not there or the longevity. I think the longevity and the secret to our legacy in Agnostic Front is the fact we are genuine and we are very passionate to what we do.

JW: And let's talk about that. Longevity. You guys have been doing this for a long time. What keeps you still as passionate about hardcore, and being in the band and doing Agnostic Front coming into 2009?

MIRET: To me, hardcore is something that spoke to me from the very beginning. It's a movement to me. It's not just music, it's not just something that sounds cool, or lyrical wise what was going on in my generation while I was a teen or whatever. Hardcore is something I committed to and I love being a part of to date. I love hardcore, y'know, hardcore is what has fueled my life. Some people went to high school. I never even went to high school. I joined Agnostic Front and that, to me, was the best diploma I ever got. That commitment I took towards the band and even towards our movement is just as intense today as it was years ago. I may not be living in squats or in vans or in abandoned buildings, blah blah blah, but I still have those memories and I still speak for the oppressed. I still put on the TV and I still see this world, y'know, and it may not be the greatest place in the world, this country. We still got a lot of issues here and we're still voicing them and I've seen the changes over the many years in my career of doing this. I've seen that we can't change the world, but we can make a difference and I've seen that. I'm here to continue making that difference for my own children for as long as I can live.

JW: And that's the thing about hardcore music. It's always been the place to voice against the injustices, not so much we might be able to change them, but we can call out what we see and what is wrong.

MIRET: Right.

JW: So let me ask you, back in the day, how did you find hardcore or did hardcore find you? And, how did you come to become in Agnostic Front?

MIRET: Well, I mean, how did I find hardcore? I knew from when I was young, from a really young age, I can almost pinpoint that, I knew that I was definitely going to walk out of step of society. I knew I was a rebel, I knew I was a misfit, I knew I was out of the norm. I didn't like jocks. I just didn't like the normal stuff, so I knew from a very young age I was going to rebel. Once I saw movies, like "The Wild Ones" and stuff like that, that's what I wanted to be, y'know. I wanted to be James Dean. Little by little, through my life and my journeys at school, I discovered punk rock. I discovered punk rock in '78 and I was still like 13-years old, y'know what I mean, and that was what caught me. I was involved with punk rock for many years until I discovered hardcore. I had discovered hardcore by accident. I was listening to the radio and there was a pirate radio show. I forgot the name of it. Some kind of pirate radio in New York, that's how they used to broadcast stuff, and I heard a band called Urban Waste and I was like "that's pretty damn cool, y'know, I've never heard of that band." I was more into the Brit-punk stuff and that's how I discovered hardcore. I went to go see Agnostic Front, and then I went to see all these bands. I wasn't in Agnostic Front then, I was the third singer, and that's how I got into it, and the next thing you know, I realized it was more than just music. It was more of a really strong, tight-knit family. All the bands I liked, all those Brit punk bands I liked, all lived in the U.K. The Ramones were in America. Hardcore was something I came into automatically. It was my youth, and there was only a few bands that were young, and I automatically found this bond to it.

JW: So, it was something at an early age that you could identify with? It wasn't these "rock stars" on pedestals that were unapproachable. It was people that were in your neighborhood.

MIRET: Right, exactly. But even though some of these bands that may seem like rock stars, like the Clash or the Ramones, they still weren't. I didn't feel I had much to relate to them anymore as much as I did when I met the hardcore community. It was people like me and you. I was like, "oh, these people are cool." We all started all these bands and we weren't very good, but one thing led to another, y'know.

JW: And I think the thing about it was it was fun, wasn't it? I mean that's the bottom line.

MIRET: Yeah. Well it was fun, I finally found a group of people that I felt I belonged to, a place I called home. I wrote about it in one of my songs on "Another Voice." I found a whole community of people that I finally felt like this is my home, and these are the people I could protect, and they protected me. I don't know how to explain it. It was a really welcoming feeling and it's always been that way from then and 'til today, y'know.

JW: Speaking of family, Madball is doing incredible, Freddy, your brother is doing awesome. Black 'n Blue Productions is doing great things in the city. As the older brother, you got to be pretty proud of what Freddy's got going on.

MIRET: I absolutely am very proud of Freddy. I mean, I like threw him out there with Agnostic Front. Freddy is one of those single-digit hardcore guys, y'know what I mean, kids that been into hardcore since he was seven. He actually got up and sang with Agnostic Front. It wasn't safe, y'know, I'm not talking about now, I'm talking about when hardcore was dangerous. He loved the music, he loved the movement, and his passion is great, as mine is. It was just great for me to start a band for him, and to see them take that band that we started for him and kind of live in our shadows, and then kind of take it out of our shadows, and create his own monster, that was absolutely very, very cool. I'm very proud of him, of course, and he deserves it. He's as passionate and genuine as I am and everybody else.

JW: Very cool. So this one leg you're going to be touring on is with First Blood from California and you'll be playing in Arizona. How did you hook up with those guys?

MIRET: We did a tour with them in Europe about two years ago. We've been friends ever since then, so it's kind of cool that two years later that we're all going to do something in the States together. We're doing this West Coast leg and hopefully we'll be able to do some of the dates in the South and Southeast too. Those guys are really good guys, Carl and the guys in First Blood are genuine people, so it's going to be fun. I'm hoping that one of Arizona's local bands, North Side Kings will be on the bill too. I always request them. I think they are a great band, a great local band. It's kind of cool to play around here now because I've made some friends around here so it's kind of fun.

JW: After the end of this tour, are you guys going to take some time off, maybe do some recording? What's the future in 2009 for Agnostic Front?

MIRET: Well the future for Agnostic Front right now, 2009, we still have two more legs of the U.S. tour to work on. I'm having a baby in May.
JW: There is that.

MIRET: That's going to hold us up through the summer unless we do some festivals in Europe. We do have a huge tour planned in South America, which is pretty awesome. It's Agnostic Front and Madball doing South America and Central America, something that hasn't been done before. We just did South America and sold out every major city so it was pretty intense. So now, with my brother, it's going to be really something great, y'know. So, that's the plans for October. We are writing some new stuff and it's going to be fun too.