TESCO VEE and the MEATMEN

Return of the Meatmen
by Jason Walsh

The motor-city madman is back…no, not Ted Nugent. The real king of the super bikes, Tesco Vee, is up to his usual deranged and unimaginable antics, ready to piss off an entirely new generation of kids who have succumbed to the pop-punk vomit spewing from every major (and minor) record label in the land. Here come the Meatmen, and they still think you suck.

So what ever happened to Tesco Vee and his onslaught of pretty much everyone and everything? Well, it’s been over a decade since he’s been in the studio, and with a new lineup of young, hungry, and slightly insane Meatmen, he has a new album out of classic cover songs and working on another LP chock full of brand new originals. “The Meatmen Cover the Earth” released this past summer to the adoration of several generations of not-so-easily-offended fans and the boys have played a decent amount of venues to boot. I had a chance to talk with Michigan’s finest son, who began this journey of outrageous punk rock madness in 1980, to find out just what the hell was going on.

JW: So man, how’s your weekend?

TESCO VEE: Great man. I just got back from the studio yesterday. We laid down about half the tracks, the vocal tracks, and this new album is pretty fucking good, man, if I may say so. I know I’m a little biased, but it’s called “The Meatmen Cover the Earth.” It’s all my favorite cover songs and it’s a lot of fun. We’re having a gas doing it, so I think people are going to dig it. It’s my first output in 13 years and it’s going to be like 22 songs, and y’know, it’ll have my comedic shit in between songs, and the return of Shecky Schpilkis in “Sexmart 2010,” so what’s not to like, right?

JW: So 13 years since you’ve been in the studio?

TESCO VEE: Yeah. I mean the last record I put out was “War of the Superbikes 2,” which was the original album and then some bonus tracks, so that’s the last time I’ve been in the studio, so it’s fun.

JW: So with such a hiatus from being in there, man, how does it feel to be back in the studio?

TESCO VEE: It feels really good. I mean I forgot how much I miss all this shit. I thought I was done and then my son and my nephews, they were too young to enjoy it the first time around, they were like “come on man…you gotta do it again.” So, like fuck it, let’s go. Then we’re going to do this album and then we’re going to do an album of all originals after that. Having fun, don’t know how long I’ll do it but I’m having a good time. Been doing it a year now and things are going well even though the economy sucks and the PC police are everywhere. But it’s my duty to come back and fuck things up once more.

JW: And I think that’s part of the thing. With everything that’s going so bad, bands like the Meatmen need to come out and kind of call out everybody.

TESCO VEE: Yeah. I mean I agree. I was reading an interview with Clint Eastwood last week and he’s like 78 years old and he said he believes that the whole PC thing has pretty much ruined our culture. I couldn’t agree more. I mean it’s ridiculous. People can’t laugh and it’s rather pathetic, so that’s one other reason I had to come back. Everybody else is dead. Me and Lee Ving (FEAR) are the only scumbag rockers that are still walking the planet. He’s coming back I guess. Well, you’re out in California right, so he probably plays out there some., but he hasn’t been out our way in a long fucking time.

JW: Actually, I’m out in Virginia.

TESCO VEE: Oh, you live in Virginia…Oh…

JW: Yeah, yeah, and it’s funny because I was going through your bio today and I was reading at one point that you had some guys from Dumfries.

TESCO VEE: Yeah.

JW: I was just up in DC doing some things and that’s one of my kids’ favorite exits because they like the exit for “DUM-FRIES” and “MAN-ASSAS” and they think that shit is hilarious.

TESCO VEE: (laughs) Yeah…I need to put a “P” on Dumfries and it became DUMP-fries. They were the house band at the Tiki Fala. I don’t know if that’s even still there. They were a heavy metal cover band called Sinister Grin and it worked out pretty good, when you pick up a whole band that already knows each other and knows how to play, so that worked out good for a few years. The new lineup’s I got is pretty fucking righteous too. All of these guys are in their late 20s but they are all fully versed on Meatmen history and they know a lot about music, so they’re probably the coolest bunch of guys I’ve had the pleasure to be in a band with so that makes it easier to go out on the road and do all this stuff, you know.

JW: So playing with a bunch of younger guys, is there a certain level of rejuvenation with that. I mean you’re hanging out with guys that are, y’know, a decade or two behind you. What’s that like?

TESCO VEE: Yeah, I think it does. I mean I always hung out with people that were younger than me. When I hung out with the Necros back in the day, I was in my early 20s and they were all just little teenagers and shit. So, I’ve always kind of been the elder statesman. I don’t know, I relate well to anybody of all generations. Yeah, I think it keeps me young definitely and makes me realize why I don’t drink all the time (laughs) like they do, but they still have a full complement of brain cells and I got to watch it because I don’t want to look like a leather handbag like Iggy Pop or David Johansen. Contrary to my wild and raucous image, I do lead a relatively clean lifestyle these days, but don’t spread that around. I don’t want to blow my image.

JW: Coming from someone who is approaching 40 I understand that and I’m a father as well.

TESCO VEE: Cool.

JW: Do you kind of find yourself kind of being a parent for these guys and see them doing their wilding and you’re like, “Ahhh…I’ve been there, done that, but hey take it easy guys.”

TESCO VEE: No, not really. I try not to do that. It gets weird, because we’re on the road and my son’s the road manager and I got my nephews riding along with us and so it’s kind of like a family affair. So, yeah, I don’t play Dad. Once in a while, I put my foot down a little bit but fortunately I don’t have to play Dad.

JW: So tell me about the new record.

TESCO VEE: It’s all covers, all cover songs. It’s other people’s songs and it’s everything from some from the 60s, 70s, 80s. It’s punk rock, it’s hard rock, it’s metal, “Big Bad John” by Jimmy Dean, just everything. The cover is going to have us like kind of a play on the Sherwin Williams logo, the paint logo, with the paint dripping off the Earth, but I’ll let you imagine what’s dripping off the Earth when we’re involved (laughs). A big wad of gism, so yeah. There’s a GG Allin song on there, there’s a Fear song on there, we try to cover as many bases as we can and just rock these songs like the Meatmen would. That’s the beauty of the Meatmen, y’know, it can be anything. It can be punk, it could be metal, it could be hard rock, it can be whatever. I’m not locked into any one thing. I’ve always been a fan of music so I got to pick. Actually, we started with about 50 songs and by the time we looked at them we realized we couldn’t put 50 songs on a record, so slowly paired it down to these chosen few.

JW: Are you putting this out on your label?

TESCO VEE: Yeah, I’m putting it out on Meat King.

JW: And after this you said you are going to go back with this lineup and do some originals?

TESCO VEE: Yeah, we’re going to start writing originals here once this thing’s in the can and I already started writing some originals. There’s one old song that I never recorded back in the 90s, so I’m going to pull that one out. Yeah, and these guys are all excited to do an album of all originals too, so it’ll be fun.

JW: Give me a break down of the guys you’ve got playing with you right now.

TESCO VEE: These guys have all been in a bunch of other bands. I got Dave Malosh, he was in a band called the Paybacks. I got Ian Sugierski and he is the drummer. He’s in a metal band called Superchrist and in another band called Wastelander. Andy Lucas, his stage name is Stinky Penis, and he’s our bass player. A couple of them live in Detroit and Andy and I both live in Lansing. We practice in Lansing so those guys drive up, we practice, and it’s all good.

JW: So how long have you been in Lansing now?

TESCO VEE: Since ‘99. We left DC in ‘99 and we’ve been back here ever since. I was glad to get out of there because, I don’t know, the Republicans were coming and I knew it, so it was time to go.

JW: That was a good call. I was just up there. They’re all leaving.

TESCO VEE: (laughs) Maybe it’s time for me to come back. I sold my house and I can’t afford to buy a house, so I guess I’m stuck in Michigan. Even though the weather sucks, I really like it here. It’s a great place to be in a band. There’s just so many fucking musicians and so many good bands come out of Michigan, it’s definitely easier to find people here than in DC. I was never really accepted by that whole DC contingent. I was always just kind of a fringe, outside player. I used to be buds with some of the Dischord guys, but you know, whatever. People move on. I didn’t really have a whole lot of people to hang out with there at the end locally. We’re having a hell of a time just trying to get a show there. We hope to be playing at the Rock ‘n Roll Hotel. The Black Cat and the 9:30 (Club) want nothing to do with us, so some things never change. (laughs)

JW: And that’s the thing. The 9:30 is not really the 9:30 from the days when you were down there.

TESCO VEE: No, not at all. From the days when there was a pipe that went across the dressing room that said “rat crossing” and people would be like, “haha…rat crossing” and then a fucking foot-long rat would run across the pipe. It really was a rat crossing. (laughs again)

JW: It was not really a joke.

TESCO VEE: No, it was not.

JW: Yeah, the District’s definitely changed over the past few decades. What’s it like being back in Michigan, especially now. To be honest, my family is up there and I’ve been trying to relocate to Kalamazoo, but the economy is so bad and the job situation is worse. It’s like a third-world nation. Is it difficult living up there now?

TESCO VEE: Well, no, cuz we all have jobs so we’re the lucky ones, knock on wood. There are jobs, but more of a skilled thing. I’m in a technical field so if you’re technical at all, either computers or phone systems, in my case, there’s still jobs, but it’s the auto workers, the manufacturing sector is fucking in the crapper. But I don’t know, Michigan is bad, but it’s just bad everywhere right now, y’know. I’m sure we’re worse than other places but it’s just fucked up right now. Yeah, that’s interesting, they moved to Kalamazoo. Did they take advantage of that deal where you live in Kalamazoo and you get free college.

JW: The promise. They got there just in time. Four years of college paid for.

TESCO VEE: Yeah. That’s cool.

JW: Are you looking to tour after this?

TESCO VEE: I don’t like summer touring so much but probably Fall we’ll head South and try to hit Florida and all that stuff. I don’t like long tours anymore. A week or two, I can handle that, but I don’t like the six-week, eight-week shit like I used to do. Just go out there and have some fun and sell some t-shirts and play some Hate Rock.

JW: Very cool. You know, you’ve been doing this a long time. What keeps you inspired and still interested in doing this?

TESCO VEE: I sounds kind of cliché but when you get out on stage and I think that’s what really lit the fires. I played that show with Negative Approach in May of 2006 and the guys from N.A. backed me up, and it’s just like getting out there in front of a thousand kids all going crazy and it was like “Holy Crap.” I can jump around like a crazy man in a 120-degree heat and not have the “big one” so I figure well, it feels pretty good, y’know, hit the treadmill, get back in shape, and yeah, it feels good man. The lineup I got, we’re like firing on all cylinders and I can’t be happier with the way it’s going.